Moving

click here to read my ramblings from now on;)

So, tell me… when shud I stop??

You know the time when we feel a little enthusiastic about something, & that nothing can get in our way? Well, how far should we go before giving up..? Gimme a clue!!!

It has been hectic these few days… stress level’s piling up to me ears now….

Okay, so I need to get my traveling form signed to attend a conference.

Step no 1, get approval from section head, approved.

Step no 2, get approval from manager – disapproved.

Step 3, see manager to negotiate – approved but need to make changes & go back to step no 1.

Step 4, same as step 1 - disapproved???? How on earth did that happen? It went well the 1st time… apparently, the section head now noticed something that he overlooked the first time…sigh… ok, fine…

Step 5, check on section head’s issue… bad news, need to get KL’s approval before Monday (1 working day left)…

Step 6, contact KL boss no 1, not available until Monday.
Step 7, contact KL boss no 2, ok, have to email him ASAP.

Step 8, email KL, failed – server down. More bad news, I don’t even have his email add to send from home… sms him for email add, no reply…

Step 9, email friends in KL, get their help to print the files & put them on boss’s desk tomorrow – succeed on the 100th attempt.... well, let’s see how this turn out tomorrow – I may get a few more bumps b4 the papers finally arrived on his desk, rite? Example: friend can’t open file / friend has problem wt printer / KL server is down… my backup plan – sent the files to two different friends…

So, those are the summary only… I didn’t mention about passport & many other issues like waiting for hours to finally talk to the bosses…

Ok so tell me, should I just give up or try again sampai dapat? Kalau tak dapat jugak, nak buat camane? Sabar je la jwb nye…….

Welcome back me!

Aaahh... feels good to be back!
So much has happened in such little time...
Am now a full time engineer, and enjoying every single minute of it ;)
To cut the story short, it just didn't feel right, the politics in particular... sick of it, but torn to leave the loved ones... note to self: don't get too attached to people that easily! nanti org sayang sgt kat kite...susah dek! hehe

Well... I don't intend to ramble about my career that much today.. lain kali maybe...

Hmmm.... I lost a dear friend of mine recently.... so tragically, and apparently soo abruptly... I just couldn't believe that she's gone.... I'm not going into details of how it happened, enuff said, the car wrapped a tree after avoiding seekor kambing..damn that goat.... Well, that's the danger of driving in this suburb...

Since her death, I just couldn't stop thinking about her... it'd be one month tomorrow... and still, I keep picturing her every now and then... knp ek..?

maybe sebab all the nice things that she's done & given me all this while, even for a short period of time..

maybe because of her kind heart & gracefullness that made me adored her from the minute I said hi, man, she was such a sweet gal......

maybe I missed the time when we talked and laughed about stuff.....

maybe that we shared the same shoe & dress sizes, & I realised that it's gonna be hard to find a replacement... yeah, I think that's the most significant of all... sedihnye...... : (

well, I got to say, in that sense, she understood me the most.... everytime I felt a little down about my looks, I always looked up to her... she had the best sense in dressing up, the solehah way laa.. she proved that being on the plus side isn't the end of the world... she opened my eyes about choice of dresses & colours, & most importantly, never to stop putting on a smile & be pure at heart, as that's the kind of person she is.... for that, she deserves to linger in my memory for as long as she wants...

al-fatihah to you my dear friend... I just want u to know that I love you & miss you so dearly......

and I hope that when I'm gone, someone may say the same about me.... may you rest in peace......amin...

of maturity

This morning while having breakfast, a lady came sat next to me & started to talk about work.

Lady (L): You company mana?
Me (J): Carigali kak… I’m not on the technical side… I’m in the procurement and logistic division.
L: OIC…
J: I baru je start… induction course pon tak pegi lagi…
L: You graduate mana?
J: Sheffield. I buat electrical.
L: RUGI..!
J: Kenapa kak…?
L: Ye la… u dari technical background, u should start with technical work dulu… rugilah u belajar lama2 and jauh2, alih2 buat kerja tu aje… bukan apa, normally most of the management level staff are absorbed from technical field. So, lagi senang la nak naik.

Right at that moment, I started pondering… deeply… it’s not the first time I had
this coming. Nearly everyone who I talked to about work had the same expression, and hopefully concern. Even the person who handed me this job offer asked me twice.

Are they right??? If yes, then what the hell am I doing here? Have I made the right decision? Am I sure that this is the best thing for me to do…? Damn I hate this… it’s tough enough when you have unfavorable options. Making decision is just not my thing…

I refused (not ‘rejected’, there’s a difference there) the offer to work in KL which was a technical position based on several reasons… but the main reason was, I was easily influenced and very indecisive. I trusted my friends and family who gave me what I call invaluable advices that I hadn’t the guts to turn them down.

“mintakla kerteh, boleh sekali ngan juri… senang… weekend couples ni kesian laa…” “ eh jun, dari dulu lagi buat benda sume ngan juri, takkan nak separate sekarang kot… janganla jun…” those are the words of wisdom before I wrote the request letter to be posted to Terengganu.

The after words were…

“eh, biasa la tu jun… skang ni kan moden… org yg ade anak pon dok berulang alik weekend” “ apa salahnye kite sacrifice a few years for the sake of experience kan… it’s like a future investment kan.. bersusah2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian”

Not long after that, my parents moved from Labuan to KL.

I was damn distress. Being unemployed is not a pleasant experience. The long wait and the frequent calls to HR are just nightmares…

The moment I felt like hitting rock bottom, this offer came, and I’d be mad to reject, be it non-technical. Being desperate as I am, I’d be happy even if they’d send me to Miri!

So here I am today, working as a base analyst (don’t ask me what that is, it’s all still blurry) at Kemaman Supply Base, providing services to offshore platforms aroud the peninsular coastal area… well at least that’s what I think…

Am I still not happy? Hmm… so far so good as the say… Fellow colleagues are all friendly and helpful, and hey, I get to be the boss here. Admittedly, not so comfy about that (yet), but I guess that’s just me still malu2 with the title. I’ll get use to loving it later. Conclusively, this is a great job. A colleague of mine who started work last year even went to Pakistan for outstation… well, that sounds promising enough to me. Plus, I never enjoyed doing anything technical before…

As for all the words against me taking this job… I wont take it seriously this time. As long as I’m happy here, I pray to god that I wont regret, because as of this moment, I’m satisfied and grateful. But u never know if its gonna change… I am very indecisive… but AS OF THIS MOMENT, this feels right… & I hope to be strong not to let anyone take that away from me…

And for all the friends out there whose words I quoted, please don’t take it personally as I’ve realized that whatever decision that I took, I should be the one responsible for all the consequences…. Lesson taken… be brave jun… be brave…

Bored?

Bored?

Hmm… I find it hard to classify what it is that I’m feeling rite now, hence the topic above… the first few weeks in Malaysia have been pretty hectic, but I’m sure that it’d be more pleasant without the jetlag, speaking of which, I haven’t fully recovered from yet...

First Friday nite, we went to Gayat’s wedding reception at Dewan Perdana Felda. Pictures can be viewed thru my hubby’s fotopage, though a bit blurry! Hmmm, actually, I do feel that it’s a bit politically incorrect to put this up, but what the heck, it’s my column anyway. I know that some of my friends out there felt a bit disappointed about not being invited. But, in my humble opinion, there is no need to have such feelings. Weddings are really for parents and their friends, we come second. So, we’ll have to try to understand and deal with the situation wisely. I know some of u might think that it’s easy for me to say because I was invited, yupp, u’re right. Had I not received the invitation, I’d be feeling curious too… am I not his friend? Does he hate me now? Hmmmmmm…. Somebody’s not gonna be in my guest list! Well, I’m sure Gayat has his own reasons, and judging by the crowd that nite, I could understand some of them…. And I hope that you will too!

Selamat pengantin baru Syed Edlee & Aisyah, may happiness be yours forever!